I’m insomni-blogging again Archives

Okay, so I haven’t posted in a few days and I know you guys are all sitting on the edges of your seats waiting to hear the latest Rabbit in the Bermuda Triangle saga. Well, I’ve got some news for you and you better just hang onto your britches because what I’m about to tell you is totally The Monster at the End of This Book type stuff.

Remember how I talked about the giant people-eating owls that live on Andros Island in the Bermuda Triangle and how the Rabbit is in the Bermuda Triangle on Andros Island doing aquatic alien surveillance probably and we were all worried that he was going to get owl bit or something?

Well, here is the only owl the Rabbit has seen and I seriously don’t know what to think. Is this thing going to be doing any eating of people? Like the Rabbit?
Wait. Don’t owls eat stuff like Rabbits?
This isn’t looking too good I don’t think.

I’m still not convinced that this is the mythical Chickcharney but whatever because seriously, what kind of coincidence is it that I write a post about giant menacing owls and there just happens to be this thing living in the helicopter hangar the Rabbit walks around in every single day? The man LIVES on the wild side, I tell you.

Then the Rabbit got shot at with a styrofoam missile only he didn’t tell me it was styrofoam until after it happened so I went all day hoping and praying that he would do really well on the evading part of his helicopter flying exercise because people would be SHOOTING MISSILES AT HIM. After that he went snorkeling and the people told him, Watch out for sharks. And barracudas.

In other news, Craigslist is being a total jerk.

Also, I taste like bread. Or tea. Apparently I’m like a staple.

And, who can ignore this? I certainly can’t.

I’m not sleeping again. No surprise there. I’ve got a baby and as cute and adorable and coated in unicorn dust as she is, she just isn’t the most cooperative sleeper. But it’s no matter as I’d probably be awake if I were lying in bed anyway because I’m a pseudo-insomniac which is pretty much becoming a full time thing for me.
I’m practicing being a zombie for when the apocalypse happens and besides the whole gore part I still need to work on, I think I’m really making some headway with my current habit of sleeping 3 hours or less night after night after night.
5 hours of rest broken by a hungry baby or a sleep walking toddler or a meowing cat or a phantom smell is what I consider a really good night’s sleep and even then I’m still zombie-ish most of my awake hours. Still generally unlikable, just less scary and without all the flesh eating.

Maybe I really am turning into a vampire. A really tired vampire who craves cheese and spinach and doesn’t care much for the sight of blood and doesn’t sleep during the day. Man, I hope not. I’d really give vampires everywhere a bad name, I think.

I sleep well when I wear earplugs but only tried it once before I realised that I am the only person in the house who can be counted on to wake up in an emergency situation like honey your face is on fire, or the dog needs to go outside RIGHTNOW, or the end of the world happened and real zombies are attacking.

I can sleep when I’m dead though. And believe you me, I will sleep like the dead when I’m dead but for right now I’ll just have to settle for being a cantankerous not-quite zombie.

Good thing my husband likes zombies.